Long-distance
relationships are
even more difficult to maintain, and the reasons why they can fail
are numerous. Many long-distance relationships certainly succeed, but
they require careful navigation from the people involved to steer
through the obstacles brought on by geography.
Of
course, with the right mindset, plenty of emotional preparation and
lots of work throughout, long-distance relationships can and do work
out. If you are willing to work it out , here's how to give it every
chance to survive and thrive.
Tips
#1
Ask the important questions at the onset, to make sure you are both clearon the parameters of the relationship.Setting parameters such as naming your relationship (dating, seeing
each other, boyfriend-girlfriend, engaged) as well as defining
exclusive (limited to one person,) or non-exclusive. Stating your end
goal or ideas will allow each person to maintain what they need.
Tip
#2
Do things together.
Defy the distance. As a long distance couple, it's important to do
other things together besides the usual phone call. In a long
distance relationship, interaction over the phone can become dull in
the long run. Incorporating other forms of interaction are important.
Tip
#3
Considerusing Skype video chat calls every day or as often as possible, textmessaging, phone calls and email every day.
It is important to maintain contact and to be in each others daily
lives as much as possible.
Tip
#4
Communicate in some way every day, more than once if possible.Since you won't be seeing each other, it's important to establish and
maintain an emotional connection. These don't always have to be long,
in-depth conversations. Tell each other about your little triumphs
and tragedies. Ask on for advice. Use an instant messenger program or
VoIP for real-time chat, or web cams for that visual connection.
E-mail is great so make sure you use it, especially if long-distance
phone calls put a strain on your budget. Ensure the e-mails are
substantive and detailed, it will show that you care enough to put in
the time and effort. Write love
letters.
Send small gifts, cards, or send flowers for no reason. In this case,
quantity is as important as quality. You may discover an advantage
over others whose partner is close at hand—you don't take
communication for granted!
Tip
#5
Take advantage of the benefits a long distance relationship offers:
more time with friends and/or family, no arguments over toothpaste
caps, the pleasure of seeing your sweetheart again after a long
absence, time to mull your options (rather than snapping at your
partner impulsively) before you respond to that email s/he wrote that
seemed so rude the first time you read it, not being dragged into a
bunch of chick flicks, etc. Most important, being far apart gives you
a chance to maintain your individuality—something that can get lost
in the shuffle when couples spend all their free time together. Here
are additional benefits
of
long distance relationships.
Tip
#6
Pursue common interests, even if it means pursuing them apart.
If there's a movie you're both interested in seeing, watch it
individually and then call each other afterward and talk about it.
Read a certain book at the same time. Stargaze while you're on the
phone. Set your watches to go off at the same time every day, and
synchronize your alarm with that of your partner. Make it a point to
think of each other when your watch goes off, and revel in the fact
that he or she is thinking about you, too. Find creative ways to
bond.
Tip
#7
Avoid the temptation to be controlling.
People have free will and no one can or should control another
person. As long as you are both interested in being in the
relationship, you will stick with it and distance will not make a
difference. As soon as one of you decides the other is not a good
match—or someone else is a better match—your relationship ends,
whether you live 3000 miles apart, two streets over, or share the
same bed with your wedding picture on the wall. You are going to have
to trust each other completely if this relationship is going to work.
Tip
#8
Try challenging each other.
This is not the same as being controlling. You may find that you can
do things for each other that you couldn't quite find the motivation
to do on your own. Perhaps you could motivate yourselves to get some
exercise or to cook better or more often. It will give you something
to do while you wait to see your partner again, and it will give you
both something to strive for and talk about until then.
Tip
#9
Talkabout your future together.Assuming that ultimately you'd want to live together, discussing how
you're going to get to that point will help you prove to each other
that the relationship is going somewhere and that your efforts and
frustrations are not in vain.
Tip
#10
Remember:
Things will get better with time, and even the relationship will
become better. Have hope.
Tip
#11
Visit often.Try to make the time to visit each other as often as possible or as
often as your budget permits you to. A relationship cannot thrive if
the only thing you have is the phone call. You need to see each other
up close and personal every chance you get. The key here is to set up
some "rules" about frequency of communication and visits
and stick to them. Consistency can help a long-distance relationship
survive.
Tip
#12
Avoid jealousy and be trusting.One of the easiest ways to destroy a perfectly healthy relationship
is to poison it with jealousy and drama. When you start a long
distance relationship, you must be realistic of the difficulties
ahead. It always helps if you go in a relationship with the idea that
everyone is innocent and worthy of trust until proven otherwise.
Don't fall in the trap of interrogating your partner every time
he/she decides to go out for a drink with people you haven't met or
he/she didn't get back to you right away when you called and left a
message. Just because you are in a long-distance relationship doesn't
mean your lives will pause. Your partner will naturally have a social
life where he/she lives and so should you. Sure, it helps to have
your eyes open and not be totally naive, but being overly suspicious
is unhealthy for you and your relationship too. You should both
maintain your social activity and be
happy with
yourselves.
Tip
#13
Be positive.
Staying positive and not focusing on the negative aspects of a
long-distance relationship is essential to keeping your relationship
blooming and your partner content. Being away from your sweetie is
not all bad news. Use the opportunity of personal time to pursue your
interests and hobbies as well as your career objectives. Another
positive point is that long distance dating pushes both of you to be
more creative, to communicate better since you don't have
"face-to-face" time and to test (and express) your
feelings. As long as you see the long-distance relationship as a
temporary state, you will keep your chin up and transmit that feeling
of security and happiness to your partner too.
Tip
#14
Give them a personal object of yours so in a time of need, when they missyou, they are able to hold on to something that once belonged to you.
This will provide comfort, happiness, and the thought of being with
you.
Tip
#15
Worktowards a balanced relationship between partners.
A relationship must be built on strong foundations of trust,
understanding and determination to make it work. The key is to ensure
that an equal amount of effort is made by both parties. The two
partners should be reasonable about their expectations and willing to
cooperate so that the relationship can lead to a happy ending. If
these parameters are taken care of, you have nothing to worry about.
But don't forget to ask some questions because if you don't, your
partner may start to think that you're losing interest.
Tip
#16
Create your own set of relationship standards that both of you have mutuallyagreed upon.
That creates a common goal for you to work towards, developing a
strong relationship whether you are together or apart. For example,
agree to disagree, accept each other as you are, practice trust and
honesty, strive towards compromise and self-sacrifice, seek spiritual
unity, and maintain open communication.
Tip
#17
Remember that you're still in a relationship.You HAVE to be there for your partner. If your partner is ever in
trouble, or hurt, or whatever, you have to be there for them.Make
sure you are available to them so that they can reach you if they
need you. If they end up dealing with everything alone, they will
eventually not need you. And sometimes, distance permitting of
course, that means being actually, physically there for them.
Tip
#18
Because time together is rare, when you do see each other, take as muchadvantage as possible of your ability to get intimate with eachother.You don't have that privilege during those stretches when you can’t
be with each other physically. You’ve got to keep those feelings of
excitement and attraction alive or they will wane in time.
Source:
Wikihow
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